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Patience

10/18/2018

6 Comments

 
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Here is round two of the fruits of the spirit : Patience. 
I decided to write about patience because it has been one of my biggest struggles! Let me know if you can relate at all! 
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 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 
- 
James 1:2


Patience. Boy oh boy have I been on quite the journey with that word. When they say patience is a virtue, they really mean it. In the beginning I felt like patience was actually my strongest virtue. To explain: growing up I was never a big talker, but I learned how to listen well. Through listening, I learned patience, through patience, empathy. By learning empathy, came kindness. One by one each of the virtues strung together. I knew God had a plan for me and I trusted it. I was gentle, compassionate, and faithful, but I had no idea that my patience was also going to test my faith the most.


Disclaimer: These examples happened quite some time ago. As with all things in my life, I am grateful for each and every experience, good or bad. With trials comes understanding and appreciation. And all is well that end's well!  

Example one:

Okay, lets take it back to when I was a youngin' and thought I knew everything there was to know haha. At that point I really believed I was patient. But then came along my first real relationship. It was then that my patience flew, and I mean flew higgggh and farrrr out of the door. Saying I love you? It was said before our first actual date. Premarital sex? Almost as fast as we said I love you. Planning on getting engaged? We were talking about it before our one month anniversary. Moving in together? Hmmm.... Well I mean NOT sleeping over two nights a week makes it "not technically" living together, right? That way I could still "technically" be following my christian faith, right? At the time, I didn't think of any of this as not being patient. I thought of it as being in love. Life was perfect, and how could something that felt so right, be wrong.? I thought of it as being with the guy I felt that in my heart was going to be my husband- plus, premarital sin doesn't count if you marry them, riiiiight?  I mean I had found the one. That one whom I could pray and go to church with, laugh with, spend hours on hours talking to, have dance parties and be weird with, and most importantly  be myself with. We read the Bible together, and prayed, and were good people, so that made it all acceptable, right? We had made our plans, but let me tell ya -  God definitely had other plans. 

Example two:

Key
 word here: addiction. Addiction is hard, for each and every one involved. It doesn't always have to be a physical dependency, but can also take form in emotional dependency. In my case, it was a two way street. I dated an addict, but at the same time became addicted to saving them. Patience for God's timing? No thanks. I can take care of it. In fact, at that point, I still believed patience was my best virtue. I was empathetic, I listened, I was always there throughout the bad times, I encouraged, I prayed, I showed up. BUT let me be the first to tell you- just because I was patient with one* person doesn't mean I was patient with others, myself, or God. I put all this time into that person, that I wore myself out. I listened and listened until I couldn't listen to it anymore. Words without action just became words to me. The patience and empathy I once had disappeared.  When it came to that listening that I used to be so good at? I didn't even have time to hear anyone else's issues. I was tired, and quite frankly, angry. Frustration and anger became deeply rooted inside of me. On top of that, God was silent (or so I believed) throughout my toughest time. But the truth is, I never fully handed him the reigns, I still wanted to be in control of the situation.  Then came along : Example 3.

Sidenote*  please tell me I'm not the only one that has done this at some point :  being in a rut and start listening to music to find signs? Like as you turn on christian music - "oh yeah this next song is God talking to me and telling me what to do"....blah blah blah. But those songs literally all have positive messages, so of course you are going to find the "good" signs while ignoring the bad.


Example three:  

Phew. This was by far the hardest lesson on patience for me. Breakups. They can lead you to heartbreaks more painful than you ever could have imagined.  If you thought I was impatient in those previous two paragraphs, here comes the worst of it. Impatience. Insecurity. Lack of self respect. Pain. Bad decisions. Regret. Jealousy. It was ALLLL included. I had believed every issue had stemmed from someone else's addiction. I never looked at myself in the mirror and realized how much of myself I had lost over time. I was set, and I mean set, on getting things back to the way they were in the beginning. In my mind the breakup was never meant to be permanent. I had done it in order to help him get better on his own, but the fact is that I never healed on my own, nor thought I needed healing at the time. I needed us to fix our problems the moment he seemed to be doing better. But was he better? Nope. Was I better? UHH Heck NO.  I was NEVER patient with communication. I had zero self respect. I allowed  certain treatment, knowing it meant I got to spend time with him. He grew and learned how to make decisions on his own, as I sat impatiently waiting and hoping for things to go back to how they were in the beginning. I waited for phone calls and texts, that usually only came if alcohol was involved. And because of that, I never grew. I would impatiently check his social media platforms wondering what girls he was with. 
I would impatiently start fights anytime we did speak out of hurt and anger. I would both selfishly and impatiently  go on dates with other people only to take my mind off of him. How unfair is that to others? I would impatiently pray to God to let us go back to how we once were, and I constantly wondered why he never answered my prayers. That impatience led not only to a certain point in which we were far beyond any type of recovery or respect to be even possible between one another, but also a point where I didn't trust God, and I was angry with him.

As you can tell that although nothing was done with ill intent, impatience from the beginning set me up for continued difficulties. Love consumed me to where I placed a relationship above all else- above my morals, above my self respect, and even above my faith. Example one was impatience during the good times - and most joyous, example two the hardest time - and most draining, and example three the worst time - and most painful. All three had led to consequences. I became insecure, angry, hurt, and lost. I was short tempered and discouraged, and anyone who had similar issues I no longer had empathy for. I put my faith in a person, rather than the God who sacrificed his only begotten son. I had to learn that people will fail you, things will fail you, but our loving God never will. I usually fill my posts with different scriptures to relate to, but just like the scripture I opened  this post with, I only feel like James 1:2 is necessary. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  By testing my faith, God taught me to persevere so I may be mature and complete, NOT LACKING ANYTHING. He taught me that patience is beyond listening, it is an action. Patience taught me to be comfortable in being alone and getting to know myself. It taught me to have faith in God's plan in my life, and not to rush. It taught me that it's possible be impatient not only in the HARD times and WORST times, but also in the GOOD times as well, that in order to persevere we must be able to face trials of many kinds. As long as we continue to learn from our mistakes, strive to be better, and have the patience to wait for God's will, than everything else falls into place. 

Things always have a way of working themselves out, and the crazy part is that your life could go in a billion different ways! These examples happened in my life quite some time ago, and although it took me a while to heal, it taught me what true patience meant. I now know the importance of not forcing anything, as well as waiting patiently through abstinence and God's will. His words are not meant to give us pointless rules and punish us, they are meant to teach us to be the best versions of ourselves - to give us joy, peace, love, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, self control, goodness, and patience.  And I'm just going to continue exploring Australia while I work on each of the fruits of the spirit in the mean time! 








AUTHOR: 

Claire  Planeta. (me)

Jesus follower. Traveler. Blogger.
www.Instagram.com/vanity.claire
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6 Comments
Tom
1/12/2019 07:52:19 pm

I've known you since the day I got here. In the beginning...I loved you cause you gave me all the leftover pizza at Surprise Farms.

I grew to respect you even more when you talked about your family and how proud you were to be a Planeta.

As you got older.. our pathes crossed on occasion. Ticket window at Peoria Stadium.. Blue Moon... Instead of talking to you...I was stuttering. You'd become beautiful.

I knew of your troubled relationship because of my involvement in baseball. I knew you'd try and fix it and give you're best. Try and be a miracle worker of sorts.

Though it didn't work out...it was through no fault of yours. Hopefully you realize that now.

I've got a few years on you..and I'm just now figuring out this patience thing. I may never fully grasp it

You are not alone. Not by a long shot. You're time will come. In fact...maybe it has. God bless and keep the faith

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Margaret
1/12/2019 09:12:23 pm

You are so beautiful and I love you! God is always in control. It is just us learning to let go of the control.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46 is a strong biblical passage that reminds us that even in the face of trouble, God is our refuge and strength.” ...
Psalm 46 says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. The reality is that there will be difficult times, but God promises to be our refuge. I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. " They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

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Garrett
3/28/2019 06:08:44 pm

Not really sure how I stumbled across this today but just want to say thank you . Thank you for being raw and open with your faith to others, it take courage to be vulnerable. As you know know, sometimes people need to hear that other people go through similar situations and struggles in there faith . Today , that was me . Thank you .

Reply
HB
7/25/2019 01:12:48 pm



Worldling:

The Novus Ordo sect is an apostate pagan antichurch led by (Satanic Jew) manifest apostate antipopes who took over (in 1958) the physical structures/properties that were previously controlled by Christianity. Salvation is possible only with the One True Church ( https://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/ )

Contraception creates female paedophiles and the epidemic child molestation problem. Contraception murders already conceived children by preventing them from attaching themselves to the wall of the womb after conception. Attachment to the womb's wall (called "implantation") happens around 2 weeks after conception.

The following is from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (the statistical agency of the department of injustice):

“Approximately 95% of all youth reporting staff s*xual misconduct said they had been victimized by female staff. In 2008, 42% of staff in state juvenile facilities were female.“ (Allen J. Beck, Ph.D, et al. Sexual Victimization in Juvenile Facilities Reported by Youth, 2008-09, p.g 13)

“An estimated 92.4% of all youth who reported staff sexual misconduct said they were victimized by female facility staff.” (Allen J. Beck, Ph.D, et al. Sexual Victimization in Juvenile Facilities Reported by Youth, 2012, p.g 23)

Tabetha Wallace: “Interracial porn, those with white female actresses and African American male actors, is currently the most popular and profitable of the genres in Adult films.” (January 26th, 2016 episode of RT network’s news show “Watching the Hawks”)

Since fornication between Negro males and light complexion women is the most highly watched of all pornography genres it caused me to look into and find out what ethnicity of boys are being molested at the highest rate in juvenile prisons and also what ethnicity of women carries out the most child rape. I immediately knew that whatever ethnicity of women that raped boys the most would absolutely and disproportionately dominate this paedophila/pederasty far more than women of any other ethnicities.

“Black youth (11.9%) reported slightly higher rates of sexual victimization by facility staff than white youth (9.7%) and Hispanic youth (8.1%).” (See 2008-2009 abuse report p.g 11) Also “10.8% of males and 4.7% of females reported sexual activity with facility staff.” (Ibid. p.g 1)

“Black youth reported a higher rate of sexual victimization by facility staff (9.6%) than white (6.4%) and Hispanic (6.4%) youth.” (See 2012-2013 abuse report p.g 21) Well that’s embarrassing. Also “8.2% of males and 2.8% of females reported sexual activity with staff.” (Ibid pg. 4)


The ultra-liberal publication Slate (in its article "The Dark Secret of Juvenile Detention Centers"): "A 2010 investigation by the Tennessean found a series of allegations that had gone largely uninvestigated and unpunished by authorities. One of the facilities’ kitchen employees, the newspaper discovered, had reportedly given a 17-year-old boy chlamydia, and later lived with a different male juvenile who she had been accused of abusing while he was in the facility. The woman was cleared in four separate state investigations despite failing a lie detector test. She was ultimately convicted only after she turned herself in to police."( https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2014/09/woodland-hills-youth-development-center-the-dark-secret-of-juvenile-detention-centers-is-sexual-abuse-perpetrated-by-female-staffers.html)

New York juvenile prison supervisor and counselor Natalie Medford told one of her many victims that she had “needs” and would bring him into her office to satisfy her most twisted desires (she was 46 years old in late 2017). She even raped a minor 8-10 different times and would lay on a juvenile’s bed “without her pants on”. (https://nypost.com/2017/08/30/teen-says-juvenile-detention-center-used-inmates-as-sex-slaves/ ) & (https://nypost.com/2018/05/28 /juvenile-detention-center-probed-over-abuse-allegations/ ) & (https://nypost.com/2018/05/21/juvenile-detention-supervisor-sexually-abused-resident-suit/ )

“White women appear to be overrepresented among female perpetrators. In 2010, 46% of female employees in state juvenile facilities were White and 45% were Black (American Correctional Association, 2011, pp. 64-65).” (Allen J. Beck, Staff Sexual Misconduct: Implications of PREA for Women Working in Corrections, pg. 29) The report’s statistical table states “67.1%” of female perpetrators of child molestation in juvenile facilities are “White” while “30.1%” are “Black” and “1.9%” are “Hispanic” while “1.0%” is “other”. (Ibid)

The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that “White”: “Excludes persons of Hispanic or Latino origin.” (See footnotes on page 11 of th

Reply
E
10/30/2019 10:31:26 pm

Hey Claire! Love this message !! I have a similar story-the details are different but the concepts similar. Not trusting God with my life. I knew I was in a relationship that wasn’t going to lead to marriage but couldn’t let it go for SEVEN years!! (And in my 30’s too!!) thanks for sharing your story. God definitely heals and I too am learning to just surrender to Jesus.

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R
12/1/2020 12:46:07 pm

Hello, I'm going through something very similar. How have you been since? I really need some hope right now.

Reply



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  • Me.
  • Explore.
    • My Outfits.
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    • Currently Craving .
  • Photography.
    • Photoshoots.
  • Contact.